


To Be Trusted

by Ren



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: M/M, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-22
Updated: 2011-01-22
Packaged: 2017-10-14 23:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ren/pseuds/Ren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin has never been able to pick the right moment to tell Arthur about his magic. When Mordred shows up demanding revenge, Merlin doesn't have a choice any more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Be Trusted

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/merry_merthur/profile)[**merry_merthur**](http://community.livejournal.com/merry_merthur/) for [](http://kore88.livejournal.com/profile)[**kore88**](http://kore88.livejournal.com/). I wanted this fic to end with Arthur and Merlin together but it turned out Gen instead. However I took the title from a quote by George MacDonald that I find rather appropriate: _To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved_.

The last days of Uther's reign would go down in the annals as a period of great civil unrest.

Morgana had once again been seen in Camelot, threatening to wage war on the kingdom unless Uther released the sorcerers he had imprisoned in the dungeons. This of course had only enraged Uther more and prompted him to scour the city again for anyone who showed any signs of magic or possessed magic amulets.

Merlin missed Gaius more than ever: if the old physician had still been alive, Merlin was sure he would have spoken against this renewed madness of the king. These days nobody seemed able to get through to Uther, not even his own son.

Arthur had been repeatedly arguing with his father against sending so many of his men in useless missions, chasing after rumours of druids and hedge witches, but Uther was unmoveable.

That morning Uther had called all of the court to listen to someone who apparently knew much on the whereabouts of a large group of sorcerers. Merlin stood discreetly to one side and exchanged a glance with Lancelot. It was a small comfort to know that at least someone else in that room would try to save as many men as possible from being imprisoned and executed.

The double doors of the throne room opened, admitting the man who came to give his report on the magic users. The man took a few steps forward and bowed in front of the king and prince.

Merlin glanced at Arthur and saw him trying to hide a yawn behind his hand. He hated having to waste time in this fashion instead of training with his knights.

Merlin was about to try and whisper to him that it was almost lunchtime (anything to get Arthur out of this foul mood, no matter that it'd get him reprimanded for speaking out of turn as always) when he heard the voice.

"Emrys," the stranger said. Merlin froze and turned to look at him, but his head was bowed and his face was half-hidden by his travelling cloak.

Still Merlin was sure he'd heard that voice already, years before. "Mordred?" he thought, his heart racing.

The stranger looked up and smiled for a moment before addressing Uther. "Sire," he said and then he added, without his lips moving, "Watch, Emrys."

Merlin looked at Arthur. His expression hadn't changed and Merlin thought he might not have recognized Mordred. It had been years, after all, and if it wasn't for Mordred's words in his head he'd never have thought that this tall and lanky young man was the same kid who he'd once helped escape from prison.

The same kid who had sworn revenge against Merlin and Camelot.

"Mordred, what are you doing here?" Merlin thought. "What do you want?"

It was hard to keep himself from panicking. Merlin had no idea what to do. Should he stop the audience and warn the king? There was a dangerous glint in Mordred's eyes. Exposing him might put the whole court in danger.

"I come bearing a grievance, sire," Mordred said. "I was hoping you could do something about that."

Uther nodded and motioned for him to continue.

Merlin saw Arthur shift in his seat, leaning forward as if to watch more closely. Was he perhaps thinking that Mordred looked familiar? He'd have given anything to be able to tell Arthur not to do anything rash. Not that Arthur would have listened to him anyway. He never did.

As quietly as he could, Merlin shuffled forward until he was only a few feet from the throne and Mordred.

"Not too long ago, my family and my friends lost their homes," Mordred said. "We were chased away by a group of men who burned down everything and killed many innocents. This happened within the borders of your kingdom, sire."

Uther frowned. "I thought what you wanted to say had to do with magic," he said. "You and your people have my sympathies, but I don't have the men to spare for bandits..."

"But it has everything to do with magic," Mordred replied. Merlin could see Uther's annoyance at being interrupted fight with his desire to find out more about rogue sorcerers.

In the end, the hatred of magic won. "These men you're talking of, are they sorcerers?" he asked.

"Their leader is a very powerful man, sire," Mordred said. "Possibly the most powerful man in the kingdom."

Uther clenched his fists over the armrests. "I don't care how powerful this man is," he said. "Tell me his name. If he used magic and he's hurting innocent people, he will die."

Mordred smiled again and Merlin felt his stomach clench. He had to do something, but what? He tried to signal something to Lancelot and the other knights, to warn them that something was wrong, but they were all staring intently at Mordred waiting for him to talk again.

"There's no doubt that this man has used magic," Mordred said. "And he lied about it, and he killed innocent people, and for this he is going to die."

Uther might have noticed that something was off in Mordred's cold tone because his voice faltered slightly as he asked again, "His name?"

At that Mordred dropped all pretences. "It's you, Uther Pendragon," he said, raising one arm and beginning a spell.

Then, chaos erupted through the hall.

Merlin jumped in front of Arthur and started to mutter a counter-spell, but Mordred was quicker. The blast that exploded from his hand sent Uther flying from his throne and threw him against the wall behind.

The room exploded with noise as many courtiers screamed and started to run towards the doors.

The knights rushed forward drawing their swords, trying to surround him. Mordred ignored them, turning instead against Arthur. The prince drew his sword as well but before he could even take a step forward Merlin had already unleashed his own spell.

Mordred had evidently been prepared for the attack since he just flinched and stumbled backwards. He looked up and tossed back his hood, wiping a thin line of blood coming from a gash on his cheek.

"You would try to _kill me_ , Emrys?" he asked. His voice was cold as ice and dripping with contempt.

Merlin tried to be just as emotionless as he replied, "You tried to kill the king, and Arthur, and everyone in this room. Was I next on your list?"

He couldn't stop his heart from beating faster than normal. He could feel the blood rushing to his head. He'd just done magic in front of the entire court. There was no turning back from this.

"He deserves death," Mordred spat. "You know what he's done. How many of our people were killed at his hand..."

"This is not the way!" Merlin almost screamed. He wanted to turn and see Arthur's face, hear him say that everything was still all right, but he couldn't let Mordred out of his sight even for a moment. He could feel Mordred's power, fueled by many years of rage.

"He's alive!" Arthur exclaimed from behind Merlin. Immediately Leon, Lancelot and a handful of other knights rushed to help the fallen king.

Mordred waved one hand at the men. "Don't move," he ordered. "You don't stand a chance against me."

"No," Merlin said, stepping sideways to place himself between Mordred and the throne. "But I do." He raised one hand, calling the magic to him. "And you know I have more power than you'll ever have."

Mordred stood in silence for a second, his eyes darting between Merlin and the scene behind him

"Are you really going against me, Emrys?" Mordred asked, his voice soft and dangerous.

Merlin simply stared ahead, concentrating on his magic. From behind him he heard a soft coughing and voices talking all at once and prayed that someone had the presence of spirit to drag both Uther and Arthur away for the room. For all his boasting, he wasn't sure of what would happen if Mordred decided to duel him.

However Mordred simply gave him a withering look and said, "If he wakes up, tell him that his daughter sends her greetings. But he will not last, and neither will you."

Before Merlin could do anything to stop him he muttered a spell and with a sudden gust of wind he was gone.

Arthur cursed loudly and started giving orders to sound the warning bell and triple the patrols around the castle. Merlin wanted to tell him it was pointless, Mordred would be well away from Camelot by now, but has was afraid to say anything that would attract attention to him.

Many were still staring openly at him. Gwaine and Leon where whispering frantically and Gwaine wasn't even trying to pretend he wasn't pointing at Merlin. Lancelot looked at him for a second only before looking away sharply and hurrying away from the room to follow Arthur's orders.

A couple of the sturdiest knights had picked up Uther's limp body and were taking him up to his chambers. Only after the king was carried safely out of the room Arthur turned to Merlin.

There was something cold in Arthur's eyes and in the stern line of his jaw, something that reminded Merlin far too much of Uther.

"Arthur," Merlin said, his voice cracking, realizing that the prince still hadn't sheathed his sword. "I can explain."

Arthur cut him off with a brusque gesture. "Leave us," he ordered to his remaining knights and to the few curious courtiers who had stayed behind. "Make sure no one disturbs us. I want to talk with Merlin alone."

"Sire," one of the knights began, "I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

"I said: leave us," Arthur repeated, clenching his teeth, and the knight bowed his head and hurried to follow his orders.

The other men left, too, some lingering back and giving a worried glance to their prince and a distrustful look to Merlin. They didn't need to worry: even if Arthur attacked him, Merlin simply couldn't kill Arthur.

Still, it hurt to get that treatment from men he considered friends. Only Gwaine whispered, "I'll be right outside," as he passed but the look he gave Merlin was far from his usual carefree grins.

The double doors closed behind him with a heavy thump, and Merlin had never felt more alone in his whole life.

He'd always wanted to tell Arthur about his magic but not like this. This wasn't what he'd planned at all.

Arthur's expression was cold and accusing. "Well?" he asked. It would have better if Arthur had screamed. Merlin hated that betrayed tone of voice.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I wanted to tell you, I really did. I just couldn't find the right moment."

Arthur sucked in a breath and Merlin's heart skipped a beat when he raised his sword, but Arthur simply tossed it on his seat. The prince wasn't any less menacing now that he was unarmed, though.

"How long have I known you for?" Arthur asked. "How many _years_?" Merlin bowed his head. "You're telling me in all of this time you never found the time to _tell me that you have magic_?"

He shook his head at the words, as if he still couldn't quite believe them.

"Please," Merlin said. "You have every right to be angry, but try to understand! Your father would have me killed..."

"I'm not talking about my father," Arthur snapped. "I'm talking about me! Why didn't you tell _me_?"

He started pacing up and down the room nervously. There were a million things Merlin wanted to say: apologize to Arthur, promise him that he'd never use his magic to harm him or Camelot, tell him about his destiny and Albion. He just couldn't find the words, so he simply stared ahead dully until Arthur spoke again.

"Did anybody else know?" Arthur asked.

Merlin cleared his throat nervously. "Gaius did," he said, and Arthur nodded brusquely.

"Of course he would. Anyone else?"

Merlin hesitated for a moment but Arthur was staring at him with those piercing blue eyes. 'Enough lies,' he seemed to say.

"Lancelot," Merlin said miserably. "But, please, I don't want to drag him into this. He saw me using magic once and I begged him to keep it a secret from everyone."

He hoped Arthur wouldn't be too hard on Lancelot. At any rate, he wasn't going to tell Arthur that he had known for years.

Arthur didn't reply and his face became, if possible, even darker.

"I swear, nobody else knew!" Merlin exclaimed. "I hardly ever used magic if I could help it. Gaius always told me to be careful and not to use magic in public until it was unbanned... I mean, if it was unbanned... Not all magic is for evil..."

He trailed off uneasily and stared at his feet. How could he have this conversation when Arthur's father had been almost killed by a spell?

"Merlin," Arthur said. "Shut up."

Merlin's mouth snapped shut as Arthur covered the short distance between them. "I saw you use magic today," he said in a flat tone. "The entire court did."

There was nothing Merlin could reply to that. With that many witnesses, he wouldn't even need a trial. He nodded.

"I also saw," Arthur added, "that you saved my life and my father's."

Merlin looked up at that, unable to believe his own ears. "Really?" he asked. "I mean, yes, I did, but I didn't think you'd notice..."

Arthur rolled his eye and for a moment they were back to their normal selves again. "How thick can you get?" he said. "I saw you step in front of that sorcerer and hold him off. You didn't have to do it, but you still did." He grimaced. "I owe you for that."

"It's nice to get some thanks for once," Merlin said with a half smile.

"By the way, Merlin," Arthur frowned. "How many times did you save my life over the years already?"

Merlin grinned despite himself. "More times that I could possibly count," he teased, prompting Arthur to snort and shake his head. "I don't know what you would have done without me."

"Idiot," the prince muttered.

"So," Merlin said. He hated himself for killing this moment but he needed to know. "About me and the magic... What are you going to do?"

Arthur instantly sobered up. "I don't know," he said. "It's a lot to take in and I haven't given it any thoughts yet." He looked away to the door and added, in an undertone, "I don't even know if my father will be all right."

"You should go to him," Merlin said. "See how he is."  
He didn't mention how Mordred had said the king wouldn't recover. He hoped against hope that it was just a lie, but that blast had been pretty bad and the king wasn't as young as he liked to think.

Arthur nodded slowly. "Let's do that," he said, retrieving his sword from the throne.

It took Merlin a moment to catch his meaning. "You want me to come along too?" he asked with surprise.

"Yes, Merlin, so will you get a move?" Arthur replied. His voice had the usual, familiar irritation.

Perhaps he sounded a bit strained, but Merlin didn't sound completely like himself either when he said, "I thought I was going to be chained up in the dungeons until you decided what to do with me."

Arthur snorted. "So you could slack off and leave me without a servant? I don't think so."

"Arthur," Merlin began, but Arthur shook his head.

"Listen carefully, because I'll say this only once," he said clasping a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

Merlin closed his mouth and nodded.

"I don't know much about magic," Arthur said, looking Merlin straight in the eye. "I was always told that all magic is evil. But I saw you use magic to protect me today, and if you'd wanted me dead you'd have killed me years ago. I trust you."

Merlin nodded again, uneasily. The cold, sinking feeling in his stomach had been replaced by something else but he wasn't fine yet, not by a long shot. "So what are you angry about?"

"Because I thought you trusted me too!" Arthur exclaimed. "Because you didn't tell me anything for all this years, using your magic behind my back. How did you think I'd feel when I found out? Because I feel awful right now."

"I'm sorry," Merlin said but this time he didn't lower his eyes. "Do you think you'll be able to forgive me?"

"I don't know," Arthur replied. "It's a lot to take in. Just... Remember that you have my trust. And don't make me regret it."

"I won't," Merlin replied, quickly. He wanted Arthur to know that he meant it.

When they left the throne room Arthur was walking more stiffly than usual and Merlin followed a few steps behind. They were uncharacteristically silent on the way to Uther's room, without any of their usual banter and teasing.

Maybe they would never go back to that easy friendship that they used to have. But Arthur had accepted Merlin and his magic. It was a start.

Merlin thought about the Dragon's prophecies and for once he found them reassuring. In the end, he and Arthur would be all right.


End file.
